Mar 9, 2018

The Sky Isn't the Limit!

I was busy googling for unique facebook bios and found this site that had about hundred plus of it. Went through each and I found this and it is so apt to what I always say against "The Sky Is The Limit" phrase. I don't know who came up with this saying.. but I love it!
Decided to design it in a Facebook Cover and this is it.

Mar 8, 2018

Happy International Women's Day

Yes, it's 8th of March once again and it's our day! But before I wish you a Happy International Women's Day, I'd like to ask you to ask yourself.. how many times have you wished for a woman to have a stone thrown at her for how much she has pissed you off? Or how many times have you accused a lady of something you have no clue about? Or join in a gossip not to help but only because it gives you the high to know how badly one is behaving or how rotten their life is turning out to be?

How much do you actually do to make the wrongs in another woman's life, right?

I may sound like Ebenezer Scrooge right now as he nagged over Christmas, but before we go wishing everyone with ovaries, can we ask ourselves this?

Just to set the record straight, I'm not a saint with my opinions on other women myself. I do let my annoyance and anger get the better of me, sometimes to the greatest extent of calling one bitch! Because that's the thing right, we think we can just call people whatever we want because we are raged over something they've done to us. Maybe yes sometimes some ladies deserve no respect from us - they've hurt us, spread rumours about us, stab us in the back, rob us of our happiness, etc etc etc. But strangely you know what, our bad reactions can sometimes be worse than what they've done to us.

Where do we draw the line?

If you believe in the energy of goodness, you'd say Karma will teach them one day. But the hurt remains and it takes a very courageous woman to put that pain aside and move on with her head held high.

I've been through a lot this week (not to mention the last 41 years as well) but I know the fact that my pain is nothing compared to the pain many others go through and are still standing strong. To those who are hurting me and stabbing me behind my back, all I can say is have a good time doing it. I hope you eventually find the courage to do it at my face so I can give you a round of applause for being the person you are! As for me, I have more important things to do with my life! And this to me is a growth, from being the person who used to rage over the ill manners some women can have to be one who wishes them well regardless of the crap they do. This is why I want to celebrate women's day! That to me sounds appropriate to the theme UN has adopted for IWD 2018 - Press For Progress. It's my personal progress - to be strong and not cave in the crap.

I have a mission to accomplish as a mother and a person of my own. I have an obligation towards the people who are associated with me - my friends, my colleagues and my loved ones, even to my country, and if I can't make them happy, at least I don't want to be the person that makes them miserable.

P.S. But don't get this wrong, if you've hurt me too many times, I'll still forgive you but please don't expect any more associations between us. I don't like to be reminded of the crap put on me.


Aug 23, 2016

Living A Plus Size Life

I had a rather unexpected yet interesting weekend after discovering a post on FB on what was supposedly or should I say apparently a FAT SHAMING advertisement by Hewlett Packard on their Spectra - the world's thinnest laptop.

This was brought to attention by fat-positive feminist, sexologist and author Virgie Tovar of USA who says HP's new ad is unacceptable, absurd, and body shaming and that its tagline "Power To The Thinnest" is an insult to the fat community - yes you read that right, a laptop's tagline is an insult to the fat community.

In my amazement of this new world I discovered - a world where people are offended by adjectives used to describe an innovation that has no life within it, a machine with electronics and processors, used to connect with other people and do complete work and create more creations, is being condemned for being hailed thin and light. Really? I did have a hilarious time trying to understand this last Friday. I mean it's a laptop for crying out loud!

Should I feel offended that the laptop is thin? Or that people like a thin laptop? Or am I offending other plus size people if I go buy a thin laptop? Would that mean I am supporting HP in shaming people who are big like me? Hmmm... wait let me see...  I have a Mac Book Air, if apple had any lighter and thinner MacBooks which I could afford, I'd go get that because my God it's a LAPTOP!!!!!! It's not like I'm out shopping for a groom or bride! And if you're walking down the street and you see this ad, how on earth can people think - "HEY! WTF! HP! YOU'RE FAT SHAMING ME!" How else are they going to word their world's thinnest laptop?

What's with the obsession over words that mean the opposite of large? Can't people use them to state a measurement fact? Must the plus size community be so sensitive that it pisses people off thinking we are being ridiculous, expecting the world to change its vocabulary just to accommodate us? It's not a bra they are promoting you know, it's a laptop!

If HP had advertised its ultra thin laptop in the hands of an ultra thin model and said 'power to the thinnest', ok then go get pissed if you want, yes, fat people buy laptops too. But HP did not do that!
Even with the above image, a slim model wanting to have the laptop - can you imagine if they had put a larger guy in the picture and the laptop being the thinnest in the world, that would have been another cry of insult, definitely claiming it as fat shaming too. Why must a fat guy be subjected to this? You know what, if we live our lives being pissed at everything, we'd be best locked up in a room with nothing around us.

So if you go get all upset about how an advertisement has worded their products, ask yourself, is that product a living thing? Should I get offended that people want things small and slim while I'm not either one of those? Is it fair to myself and those who might be depending on me to feel positive about themselves to go all berserk over an advertisement that has nothing to do with plus size humans?

Do I have to give all these words power over me? The power to destroy my self-esteem? If it were that easily destroyed, then I would think, I don't have any to begin with.

If you are big, as I am, and have no reason to believe you need to lose weight (I don't think that way by the way - I'd like to lose the weight I gained due to child birth and an inactive thyroid but I'm no less confident and I am happy with the woman I am today!) and is happy with the figure you are in; you celebrate life just the way you are, then don't go around expecting changes in things that don't fall in the category of true shaming towards you as what is put out by Virgie, or her followers.

I believe it is important to chose your fights. Don't scream discrimination over everything and anything without seeing it from a different, non absurd perspective. Keeping such an approach can only drive out all the seriousness placed on your cause (body positive) even when it truly means making people stop fat-shaming.

Empower the younger generation and the old by showing they are above adjectives! We don't need to customise the world to make it perfect for us, we only need to make sure HUMANS treat other HUMANS of any size with respect - this includes the plus sized not insulting the thin!

Jul 7, 2016

Of Pandas, Boyhood and Pictures

I guess I can say that I lost the liberty to watching a movie on its release date the day I delivered my first child. No, I am not complaining! I'm merely stating a fact. As much as it was fun doing the things you can do before you're entrusted with a little baby in your life, watching a movie after a year or two or a decade later is still a good thing than not watching one at all. Anyway, since it is the Raya holidays this week, I managed to catch up on my movie viewing and watched Kung Fu Panda 3, Boyhood and Movies & Pictures.

KFP3 had many mixed reviews online, but the thing about me, is no matter what others say about a movie, I need to be the judge of it. Anyway I loved it! As I did for KFP1 and 2. It was funny and inspiring as always. The connection between all three movies I believe flowed well.

Credit: Dreamworks

Then there was Boyhood, that was a 172 minutes well spent, but it would have been torture for anyone who hated constant silence as was the case for this. I guess the part that made meaning to me was when the mum screamed her anxieties at her son just before he left her apartment for college.
End of the day, you wonder what life is suppose to be about when you've completed your duties in raising your children and they head on with their own lives. Are we suppose to think, ours is over? I highly doubt so. Motherhood should be about discovering and creating yourself and when your kids have their own wings to fly, shouldn't we take flight to?

And finally, Words & Pictures, the movie I have been waiting for, for so long! Finally watched it and the wait was worthwhile. Clive Owen and Juliette Binoche played their roles so nicely and watching him whisper words of intellectuality after their evening together, clearly defines the meaning of saposexualism - being attracted to someone's intelligence. In the end, I believe, art and words are essential and if possible, one should not be without the other. 

Jun 3, 2016

Your Name Is Your Shield

It's a wonderful opportunity to revisit Alex Haley's book - ROOTS in the reimagined series by History Channel that was aired first on Memorial Day in the US.

Growing up, I remember the weekly anticipation my family experienced in watching Kunta Kinte in action. We never called the show by its actual name - Roots (1977), we named it Kunta Kinte.

It was a highly memorable period for many families who owned a TV set back then. Emotionally intensed and heart breaking at every point in every episode - learning how slaves were traded and treated like animals instead of humans. How a family struggled from one generation to another. How no African slave had the right to their own life, and how within 24 hours, one's fate could change tremendously for the worse. 

Now after 30 years, watching Roots (2016) on TV with my little children, the emotions are even more intensed for me. With age of course you begin to understand the intensity of history. Of how things happened to shape the world we live in today. 

In Roots (2016), phrases such as 
- your name is your shield
- family matters most
- honour your ancestors 
- live in dignity and honour
- behold the only thing that's greater than you (the universe!);
all these speak loudly to its viewers through this series.

Evaluate our present lives and we'll see how little people care for such substance and how unwilling people are to fight for our loved ones, our name, our roots. 

Night 3's episode where Kizzy says goodbye to Marcellus, choosing her son and daughter-in-law over love shows how much a women sacrifices for the safety of her children and would do so even if it kills her. That was an honorable and heart-breaking scene to watch especially for a woman who was raised so gracefully by Kunta and Belle and had her life turned upside down because she was caught being able to read and write. 

My 9 year old son, upon seeing Kizzy dragged away, sold off to a new master because they found a letter of freedom she had forged for her boyfriend Noah, asked me what's wrong in knowing how to read and write? Knowledge is power and if you have it you are a threat back then. Even now not much of that idea changed. How governments control what we can and cannot learn. Segregation of elite and non elite groups. It's pretty much still in existence. Whenever I read about how women were persecuted for being able to read, I always tell my children, you have the opportunity to be educated so don't take it for granted! Remember the many who yearn for it and get persecuted instead. Educate yourself and use it to make the world a better place for your children! 

Hence it sickens me when I hear people question why their children need to study certain subjects in school. There are even teachers who make statements like this on subjects such as ICT & RBT, calling it a waste of time. Really? When people in some parts of the world get shot for wanting to learn, here we have a different, more privileged way of taking education for granted.

I'm not an African American, but this history touches me very deeply. History has a lot to teach us when we evaluate the story told wisely. Of course it has to be history with a true account and not one manipulated by politics. 

Here's something I cannot help but compliment after reading it on FB. The caption to this post is very true. Those who forget their past are condemned to repeat it. We are suppose to make something better of our lives than the ones our ancestors had. They fought to break the chains bound to their hands and legs; to break free from the masters who owned them and abused them. Remember their trials and let not your generation now and the ones to come be bound to the unseen masters that insidiously destroys one's existence, one's root! 

Live and don't waste your life!


May 31, 2016

Citizen's Arrest

With everything that goes on these days, the words common sense being uncommon keeps sounding again and again in the media and in casual chats among friends and family, so often that we don’t give a damn anymore about it.

While being able to say what is and isn’t sensible, not many are willing to reprimand a wrong doer. Why? Is it because they don’t have the guts? Do they feels it is not their business or think someone else will deal with the correctional actions? Does it only become a hot topic of discussion on a social media site because most people are all about talk and not action? We just allow people to do what they want and give a blind eye to it - it’s more convenient that way because you want to avoid being physically injured by the other party for telling on them.

Imagine if we still practiced citizen's arrest?

How many people would be summoned for all the wrong things they do?

For littering (including throwing trash out of their vehicles) and illegal waste dumping, for vandalising public property, for peeing in open areas, for double parking, for smoking in non-smoking areas, for being drunk and disrupting public peace, road bullying and so many more.
If only we had the right to apprehend them.

Everyday, without fail, you will see people taking things for granted and being so irresponsible towards nature and breaking the law on so many micro matters that if continues long enough would show insidious results.

It’s as if education was wasted on them and since education is not making citizens ethical, what else would?

Jan 14, 2016

21st Century Educators

Being a teacher in the Internet era is a completely different ball game with  information being accessible to students at the tip of their fingers. 

Being an educator in the 21st century, we need to keep ourselves updated and convey knowledge that is credible in order to gain our pupils' respect and this is not confined only to science and technology subjects but everything in the curricular including art. We need to be able to incorporate different teaching and learning methods to continuously capture the attention and interest of our students. 

Are we technology savvy enough to be functioning as educators of the 21st century? 

We live in the time where learning and learners are no longer the same as yesteryears. We've evolved so much that even projects and presentations are no longer made on art blocks, manila cardboards or PowerPoint but made as video presentations and podcasts.

We need to watch what we say when we teach - say something ridiculous and parents who are no longer Grade 6 school leavers will come after you. I know I do with my children's teachers - no not because I want to act smart but when I know for a fact something is taught wrongly it needs to be corrected for the benefit of all learners of that teacher's - present and future. 

What's horrifying is how many teachers fail to improve themselves and when they are questioned, queried or even spoken of on social media (which is the in-thing these days) they get offended! 

We should move up with time. We no longer live in the era where teachers are synonymous to almighty. We need to know what we are talking about in order to survive this fast paced world. Lag and we'll fall flat on our face and we'd only have ourselves to blame for the joke we've made of ourselves. 

We can't keep blaming the system when a lot truly lies within the hands of the educator itself. 

Dec 6, 2015

When Are You Getting Married?

Ladies who are yet to be married really face a lot of bullshit from those around them. 

As if it isn't difficult enough to find someone suitable for yourself, you are further tortured by having to justifying to every aunty, granny and sometimes even to the people who play no role in your life. 

There many 'pun'ny replies already out in the open for you to use, but this, which I found yesterday, on the Internet, is by far the BEST! 

It sure cracked me up! L.O.L 😂
Who ever came up with this need an award!!! Hahahahaha 

Art Therapy or Torture?

Do not be mistaken, I love colouring and I love art, but somehow, surprisingly, whenever I look at these adult colouring books that are now so abundantly sold in local bookstores, I find myself suffering with palpitations rather than calmness.

 Strangely, I’m not attracted to them and I am shocked at my inability to grab a colouring book now that I can find them everywhere and not just on Amazon.  Anyone who knows me well would know exactly how much I love to draw and colour both for leisure and work. 

I’ve seen the posted images of the colouring pages done by my friends on FB and some of them have such talent to make their colouring seem just like a laser printed image. They must have been supremely calm? Bravo to them all!

Believe me, even to write this post about this topic is giving me a torturous ache in my chest, and writing is supposedly the one thing that calms my nerves down. 

Well, I guess the judge of how therapeutic or torturous a hobby is, still remains personal.

To those who have found joy in reliving their childhood moments with their colour pencils - I say well done and keep it up, do more and post them for everyone to see. You should be proud of yourself!

To those like me (unexpected really!), I say please don’t kill yourself and go back to gardening, or sewing, or baking, or reading a book as your means of therapeutic calmness - you don’t need to take on something new just because it’s trending in the market right now, and in my case, give my heart a break! 

Mar 8, 2015

Happy International Women's Day 2015

We've come to that time of the year again, where we honour and celebrate the women who had fought for equality, strived for peace and justice, those who reached great heights and those aspiring to do great things.

We celebrate and honour the women who have their names constantly
mentioned in the media for their honorable deeds, women who have made it into our history books for their achievements, and those whose names are engraved and highlighted in the hearts of their loved ones - the ordinary yet extraordinary women like you and me.

The role of a woman is beyond limits, you and I know that and we also know that when we put our mind and heart to something, we can take it real far and reach the greatest height of success.  I always tell the people around me that we all have a purpose in life, no matter what our influential value is in society, we all have been given a role and a task to perform, we only need to discover it. These days, I've found myself saying so to my children too, either in context to their own life or in the books and movies, as well as the news that they've come in contact with

Therefore, in line with this year's theme, 'Make It Happen', I'd say, 

1. Make your dreams happen! Do not give excuses for yourself and most of all do not doubt yourself. If anyone gets in your way and thinks you can't, tell them to stand on the side and watch as you make it happen! 

2. Stand up for what is right, most importantly women's rights, and not for a minute say "this is not my quest" or "this is not my business". You'll never know, how your lifting of a finger could help  change another person's life for the better.

3. Embrace your status - single, married, widowed or divorced, you're not in a hopeless place no matter what your circumstances are. Ignite happiness so that others can feel it's warmth and be consoled. It's a great feeling to know someone cares, it's even greater to know you're safe. If you don't think you have it all, don't be envious of those who have it a little better than you. Remember, everyone fights a battle of their own. Don't hope to be someone else other than a better person you were yesterday. 

4. Forgive! It really helps you lead a fruitful life. If you can forget, better still, but if you can't, you can just move on and conclude you have nothing in common with your wrong-doers and wish them well anyway. 

5. Be a beacon of hope to the younger generation of girls and educate the little boys around you to grow up respecting their opposite gender. No matter what role you hold, a mum, an aunt, a grandmother, a sister or a teacher - you have a moral obligation to raise your girls with values that can help them through their life and to teach our young boys that they are equal to women - not greater but EQUAL!

6. Make the right choices every time possible. Your kids/siblings/friends will appreciate you and learn from you.

So go make a difference!
Remember, if you've made a difference in one person's life, be certain that its rippling effects will go far. 

Happy International Women's Day 2015! 
We may all be different in our color, race, nationality and creed but we have one thing in common - we are women and the power to change the world lies in us!✌️

Jan 22, 2015

Parenting Advice From The KURAL (Indian Sangam Literature)

1. If your child lies to you often, it is because you over-react too harshly to their inappropriate behaviour. 

2. If your child is not taught to confide in you about their mistakes, you've lost them. 

3. If your child had poor self-esteem, it is because you advice them more than you encourage them. 

4. If your child does not stand up for themselves, it is because from a young age you have disciplined them regularly in public.

5. If your child takes things that do not belong to them, it is because when you buy them things, you don't let them chose what they want. 

6. If your child is cowardly, it is because you help them too quickly. 

7. If your child does not respect other people's feelings, it is because instead of speaking to your child, you order and command them. 

8. If your child is too quick to anger, it is because you give too much attention to misbehaviour and you give little attention to good behaviour. 

9. If your child is excessively jealous, it is because you only congratulate them when they successfully complete something and not when they improve at something even if they don't successfully complete it. 

10. If your child intentionally disturbs you, it is because you are not physically affectionate enough. 

11. If your child is openly defied, it is because you openly threaten to do something but don't follow through. 

12. If your child is secretive, it is because they don't trust that you won't blow things out of proportion. 

13. If your child talks back to you, it is because they watch you do it to others and think its normal behaviour.

14. If your child doesn't listen to you but listens to others, it is because you are too quick to make decisions. 

15. If your child rebels it is because they know you care more about what others think than what is right

Share this with other parents if you think they could benefit from such advice. 

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