Jul 23, 2009

* An Akward Hello

I recently had a chance to spend some time with my nephew who's down from US for his summer break, and spending time with him has always been great in a very hilarious way. We both somehow connect on common grounds.

Our most recent ground, was akward hellos. How the people we meet, start a conversation with you when they bump into you in public.

We were thought of the very standard style which was firstly wishing, "Hello" or "Hi" or even "Good day.." followed by "how are you" or "where to, long time no see" (in our Manglish terms) etc.

Have you had someone come up to you and start a conversation by saying,
"Hei (with a head nod), dark already ha (pointing their finger at you as if he needed to be more specific)?" or
"Wah, you're back, so how are the girls back in US? (yah right now I see why you go abroad!)" or
"Wei, wah fat already ha you? (thats doesn't make you any better looking than me!)"
and these are from people you are meeting after months, and the respond we sarcastically give sometimes is "Hi..(returns a head nod), nice to meet you too!" but I'm very certain that sarcastic hint just gets lost in the emptiness of their head did I say head? I meant emptiness of their conversation.
I just must add this one thing, a conversation I heard between two girls who were meeting after several years at a wedding, and the older one said to the other, "Hello.. wah your butt is getting bigger and bigger than your head woman!" This was an absolute shocker. Coming from a woman who supposedly was considered very educated, and nope the younger lady wasn't me.
We laughed a lot as we shared our experiences of such ridiculous and akward first lines, but his was more recent so the intensity of it was greater.

The way people these days relate to others, and their mannerisms in conversations.

Is there an answer to why this is the way it is?

The only 2 things I can think about is the shallowness and insensitivity of that person.

What and how you speak, tells others what you are, and it's sad when you get classified as a shallow or insensitive individual.

Whatever the case, I think its about time people used their brains in constructing a conversation and not sit on them and from now on those who can start a conversation right, should try and enlighten those who don't, unless you are afraid of loosing a friend, humm.

Observe from now on how people talk to you when they meet you after a long time and enjoy the laugh, but do yourself a favor and never join them just because you think you can't beat them.

* Chinese Zodiac Personality of The Snake

Snake symbolizes such character traits as intelligence, gracefulness and materialism. When it comes to decision-making, Snakes are extremely analytical and as a result, they don’t jump into situations. They are effective at getting the things they want, even if it means they have to scheme and plot along the way.
Snakes are very materialistic creatures, preferring to surround themselves with the finest that life has to offer. This is especially evident in the home, where luxurious furnishings and surroundings help Snakes seek the peace they need in order to thrive.
Snakes do work very hard, but they have a tendency to be job-hoppers as they become easily bored. Their somewhat laid-back attitude causes them to be mistakenly categorized as slackers, but nothing could be further from the truth!
Snakes are very creative and extremely diligent. They’re excellent problem-solvers and thrive under tight deadlines.
Good career choices for Snakes include: scientist, analyst, investigator, painter, potter, jeweler, astrologer, magician, dietician, and sociologist.
Snakes are excellent seducers so they never have trouble attracting others.
However, they’ll be the ones to decide when a relationship has potential and when it does not. Once they’ve chosen a partner, a Snake’s insecure side will begin to show through.
Snakes guards their chosen partners much like a prized possessions, becoming jealous and even obsessive.
Snakes prefer to keep their feelings to themselves.
It’s important to never betray a Snake’s trust as a betrayed snake will make it a goal to get even some day!

Jul 21, 2009

* All in a day's work

Guess this woman never heard of the term Multitasking.
Clean house
Clean kids
Food on the table
Time for books and study with the kids
TV time
Play time
Prayer time
Screaming and laughing time
Nap time
Friends and family time
All this with lots of love to have everything going on smoothly at home.. and all that with a PC that's not broken, on a secured board band thanks to Maxis for lots of socializing, writing and learning taking place..
Yes Multitasking is a highly skilled ability.
Not many can do it, but it's not difficult to exercise it either.
Like I tell many, it's all in your head actually!
With time management, and the gift of multitasking.. a lot can be achieved.
I am a stay home mum, and I am not bored because I keep myself occupied in many ways possible. To all those close to me who have decided to be stay home mums too, you always ask me how I do it because you seem to be suffocated with boredom, well this is how.
I grab what the world has to offer in its most simplest form and I make the best out of it for myself and my family!
Life is an endless learning experience.
'Today is the continuation of more for tomorrow since yesterday.'

* Conveniently Rude

How often have you encountered people who are conveniently rude around you?
I met one yesterday and seriously I didn't spare a moment to enlighten her of her rudeness.

So here's how it went, we did some grocery shopping yesterday and at the end we had to go settle the parking ticket before heading home. Out of 4 counters only 2 were open and out of the 2, the one on the right side had a larger space for people to park their carts and settle the payments. I obviously went to that lane as I had my kids and a cart full of things with me and in front of us, was a man who was paying his ticket and behind him another lady in the same scenario as I was, kids and a full cart.

I stood very patiently for her to take her cash out of her purse, while the man in front of her had already left the counter, and in the midst of the waiting, a very interesting specimen of a woman pushed herself through me and the lady in front of me to get to the counter we were queued at.

It really got on my nerves, and the lady in front of me looked at me in disbelieve. I, as being my usual self decided to comment, "she's so bloody rude isn't she?" and the woman who cut us to the counter could defend herself by saying, "Oh I didn't know you all were waiting in line to pay lo!"

I couldn't help myself but ask her "Why did you think we were standing here to look at the bloody ceiling?" she still carried on saying, we stood not in queue and she had no idea, but she never apologised nor did she ask us if it was OK to go ahead of us, and there we were, 2 mothers with kids and a cart and juggling all this by ourselves while decently waiting in queue and another WOMAN can completely be so inconsiderate towards this situation. A situation another woman should by right understand.

To me it isn't about her going ahead of us. If she had asked instead of pushing her butt through the line, I wouldn't have minded it at all, but the very fact she could make her action seem correct and completely disregard us for the fact we were in queue was what got on my nerves.

A lot of women out there do not give any care for other ladies who juggle so much by themselves. Be it in shopping centers, hospitals, or even while boarding a public transport or an escalator for that matter, everyone wants to push their way through. When a woman walks with a kid on both sides of her body.. you respect that and give way! You aren't very far away from being in that same shoe if you only think ahead!

I had my 'go' last night! Honestly I felt so good telling that lady off, and I have not written every bit of that conversation here but the best part of all was to have the other juggling mummy join me in 'taruh-ing' this woman, just made my day!

Here's a good picture of how even a deer knows the sense of queueing up!

* An Insightful Discovery

I got this email today and I thought I'd post it on my blog:

Do you know…?
At 12hr 34 minutes and 56 seconds on the 7th of August this year, the time and date will be 12:34:56 07/08/09

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 This will probably never happen in our life again.
Unless we live to the next millennia??!!!!

Jul 19, 2009

* My 1st Paul Smith Bag

A sudden obsession I have just acquired and over what? Paul Smith bags..

I got my first yesterday and I'm truly impressed with his bizarre crazy sense of colours and designs.

As always, I had a reason to look for a bag (although a woman never needs a reason for a new bag, as there isn't such a thing as too many bags in a lady's vocabulary). I needed one that will hold all my piano books, because my initial ever faithful bag, gave way. The increase of books got to heavy for that poor faithful friend of mine, so we went on a bag hunt and when I saw this collection of bags, I found myself instantly attracted to the fabulously humored look of Paul Smith's collection. I seriously believe that the men's collection stands out better than the ladies though!

So I got myself one.. Something that was big enough for the horizontally lengthy books I have and one that I believe is strong to last with style, and most of all FUN! It's Paul Smith's Mini Cooper collection.

Simply love it!

As crazy as some may feel in carrying a bag that looks like this, the fact is if you know me well enough you will know that crazy is part me. Remember I hate black bags? Yah! I'm quite certain this name will linger around my shoulder for some time. Looking forward to getting a cool and mad piece of wallet from him soon!

~Paul Smith's Mini Cooper Canvas Bag~

Jul 18, 2009

* Thanks for the gift??

I love buying gifts!
Yes, be it for any occasion, I truly enjoy doing this. I love to watch the pleased expressions of the one receiving it and I always like to choose the oddest, rarest stuff if possible.
How about you?
Are you the sort that dreads it?
Rather envelope some cash and roll it into the receiver's hand or the type who takes time to get something worth while?
I know many who would rather give cash, as it is most of the time the best thing to do especially for weddings, where the couple could do a lot with your cash rather than a gift.
Have you ever wondered why you got what you got as a gift?
Have you ever asked yourself, "What was he/she thinking when he/she decided to purchase this for me?"
Well I have.
In fact the most ridiculous gift I have received were from my most lousy aunties in my life, and till now I still cannot comprehend why they got me the stuff they did?
Yeah I know its the thought that matters, but seriously, don't get a person trash as a gift and drop the whole "where shall I throw this" scenario on anyone.
Buy gifts that are worth something.
A gift worth your money, and a gift worth receiving.
A gift you would love to receive because what you would love to receive is what you would certainly not find hard to get for another!
So people, think before you buy something for someone.
If you fail to figure out what you should get, then envelope that cash of yours and pass it on. That always works somehow. *Sigh*
Better still, just wish them, call them if you are far away and wish them. That saves a lot of trouble, on the part of the receiver! *Sighs again*
Finally to the one receiving the gift, don't forget your "Thank you"!

Jul 16, 2009

* Lost & Found Friendships

The past week I have been meeting up with friends and acquaintances that I have some how lost contact with for quite some time. A very wise woman once told me, no matter how long you've been apart, true friends can meet again and talk like they weren't apart at all. This is somehow so true in reality.
Is it because you have made a good impression on that friendship that no matter how long you have not seen each other or been in contact and bare in mind these days you can still keep contact without seeing each other at all thanks to the Internet, you can still bind? Is it because of 'old times sake' that you find it easy to just start back where you last ended?
What happens if you have lost touch in a friendship in a bitter way?
Then can this theory be true?
I guess it can. If you have been through enough time to heal, enough time to be calm over the bitterness, enough solitary moments to think, then you may find it easy to let bygones be bygones.
I lost one good friend and have regained her friendship only because I believe I have stepped forward to mending things that were badly misunderstood between us, and all I did was to say 'HI' in the loudest tone possible, with a huge smile and a strong hug when I bumped into her in the mall 5 years later! I didn't do that with any thinking, it just happened.
Nature has its way to making things better for you, and most of the time its when you don't think too much that you see it happen.
I'm glad that happened. I'm glad it happened without any thought.
To all those I met this week, I'm glad we got a chance to meet up again!!
There was another lovely lady who also told me, it's best to just be close but not too close, to avoid being taken for granted. I agree with this too, distance makes the heart grow fonder, and I guess the distance I had with these friends allowed me to safe the friendship without anything being taken for granted.
Whatever said, I'm truly blessed for the friends I have in my life right now, for those who were there, and for the ones to come.

Jul 6, 2009

* When do we grow up?

These days, I tend to sit down more with the other mothers in my girl's kindergarten, and its been quite an experience I must say. Most of the ladies in this circle of mothers are much older to me but our eldest are classmates.

Our conversations at days can be pretty silly and serious depending on what we have to share with each other. Most of the time its trashing other people and honestly I don't know why.

I suppose alot of us bottle up too much in ourselves that when we do get to bring it out it comes out in the form of condemning others, then there are also people who think so mighty of themselves that they assume they have the rights to do so. Talking about the way other people dress, walk, talk, drive, name it, in any topic it may be, there is some trashing done.

Today I couldn't help but voice out in defense of the one being trashed.

A mother who dresses up obnoxiously with cleavage revealing tops and seriously mind blowing clothes which in many ways doesn't suit her nor the venue. Apparently she was laughed at by these mothers once and she stood up for herself to tell these ladies off, and as always no likes being 'told off' that they decided to share this horrifying event with me. Well to me, I do agree with both sides, I personally feel her sense of dressing is inappropriate, but that's about it. In no way should she be condemned for defending herself and be called bossy, defensive, or deprived of control at home, etc as excuses for the defense she took for herself from this laughing vultures. What is even amazing is that this woman still talks to these mothers and I see that as admirable. If I had to be sarcastically told off by women who laughed at me, I would certainly keep them out of my sight!

"If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything." This is what the lady told them when she caught them laughing at her overly sexy outfit couple of weeks ago. I think its pretty much true when its got to do with someone who's not closest to your heart. I don't believe in not saying what I need to say to people who respect my opinion and are close to me when it comes to fashion at least.

So the question is this, when do we grow up? When do we stop labelling others and trashing the ones around you? How do we get the ones around us to realise, you have passed the age for this and you need to show some form of wisdom in yourself. The more we carry on with such attitude the more we teach our kids its fine to be rotten this way. Just because we can doesn't mean we have to.

I think I tried to make that difference today. I asked them to stop scrutinizing her more than they should. It was just her dressing they all had an issue about, and yes they were rude to laugh at her, and yes she had the right to tell them off, and yes she also had the right to defend herself when not only they laughed but verbally defended themselves by condemning her directly at her face.

So once again, when do we grow up? It's a very subjective question but I suppose its not the age that holds the answer, but in the will of an individual to make that change!

Jul 2, 2009

* Bad childhood ~ Rotten adulthood?

Watching too much Crime and Investigation Channel made me come up with this post. Is a person's bad childhood an excuse or a reason for anyone to behave badly when they're all grown up?
In almost every documentary, you will find one point in the narration saying, the criminal had a bad childhood. I'm sure this is certainly made after an evaluation of the case by very professional psychologist, and I believe this isn't something that the law accepts to do away with one's punishment.
It is really sad to know a person has been through a bad childhood.
What is the definition of a bad childhood by the way, and by whom?
Abuse in all forms?
Deprived of happiness?
Deprived of freedom to be a child?
Deprived of comfort?
By your parents? Your siblings? Your community? Your friends? Your relatives?
Well the list can certainly be endless depending on the adaptability of a kid to his or her situation with their childhood. There are many ways a person may have had a bad childhood. There are many different levels to it also, and one person's bad past may not seem bitter at all to another who may have had it worst for them.
Sad to say, there are also adults who actually had life pretty easy yet at the point of being an adult they conclude they had a bad childhood only because they were not given what they supposedly think they should have had as a kid. Yes I know many cases like this personally and not over crime and investigation channel.
It goes back to how parents of the older generation were. How their parenting skills were of their parents'. Nevertheless there were also parents of the older generation who did a marvelous job with their kids only to end up having those children grow up as rotten parents to their own.
Who's to be blamed for this?
Who holds the power to being a good individual, a good citizen, a good adult, a good family member, a good friend or a good neighbour?
Yes long term abuse by caretakers can cause a lot of damage to a child, but what can we say about those who grew up with the best childhood yet end up rotten as adults? Is this the cause of peer pressure? Is this a case of low serotonin levels? Poor attitude management or simply a case of lousy choices?
Bottom line is what you chose to be is what you will be!
Unless you have a serious case of mental disorder that requires medication and serious care in a mental asylum, you have every reason to be a better person not for anyone else but for yourself!! The choice is yours, if you had a bad childhood, use that as a reason to live a better adult life because now the power is in your hands and not those who brought you up, and treat others the way you want to be treated. If abuse and deprivation was your past, and you hated it, don't do that to those around you. If you think you deserve better, then the ones you love deserve the best from you too.
Don't make your past as an excuse for you to be rotten in your own power of existence.
Many out there have endeavoured hardships and have chosen whats best for themselves and the ones they love.
Lastly, parents, don't forget to remind your child how much you love them and how much they mean to you even if you had to be strict with them for their own good. You only do whats best for them and you must make sure you are not misunderstood for abuse, for that can be really unfortunate to a really loving parent who's kid is life to them!!!
(A Thankful note - I AM MY MOTHER!!! I loved her very much and I am in many ways like her!! My parents, my family and my friends have thought me the best things to treasure for life!! through my toughest and joyous moments. I am truly very blessed for them all.)


* You STOP it!!

Yes the title sounds weird but that's what my son says to me when I tell him to behave and stop doing what he's doing. How do I deal with it? Well I most of the time tolerate and tell him back to not speak to me that way, but daringly he still tries, and when I lose my temper he runs really fast away from me to so call protect himself from getting a spank on his buttocks from my hands!

I asked him the other day while doing my provisions if I should buy the "Rottan" for him? Of course he said NO! A really quick reply even before I could finish my question. NO! Yup, I won't buy the cane for him, I don't believe in spanking a child to teach discipline, I don't know how we took it all when we were kids, when a spank was the only way things would make sense to us. When fear was the only way to discipline a child.

Sometimes talking my son out of his naughtiness isn't easy either. I notice myself getting louder at him when he doesn't listen and then I wonder if my neighbour's are going to call up STAR probe and report my loudness as "child abuse".

It's not easy, especially this phase where your kid talks back at you. Smacks you back, and screams back at you for not allowing him to make a complete fool of himself in public. Experts say this phase will ware off. Kids outgrow this behaviour. I am yet to know and when it does, I'll certainly be the happiest person on earth! So till that happens I shall STOP COMPLAINING.. and pray he grows out of all this real soon to keep my sanity!

Featured Post

THE DEBATE: The Hand That Rocks The Cradle Cannot Rock The Board Room

I watched this debate live on BBC, last month, yes amidst the running headlines of the missing MH370 and I must say Allison Pearson, the aut...