Jan 21, 2010

* A Happy Mum = A Happy Home

I just got off the TV watching Oprah..
I don't diligently watch it as much as I used to, but today's show was quite intriguing.
Her guest was Christiane Northrup, the author of the book The Wisdom of Menopause.
Well more than just her guest and the book, what caught my attention was how they both, Oprah and Dr Northrup, addressed the issues of 2 mothers in the audience and what caught my attention most of all was the saying, "A HAPPY MUM MAKES A HAPPY HOME".

I believe this line is going to stick in my head for the rest of my life, not because I never knew this, many of us would know it out of experience with ourselves or from our close friends and relatives, but hearing this out loud, has just enlightened me.

What makes a happy home?
What makes that house a place we call home?
What draws us to want to be part of that home?
What do we gain from that home?

Looking back in my life, home was a place I would run to every time I got a chance during the weekends or weekdays while in campus, because I felt safe, loved, needed, appreciated, but most of all HAPPY and I owe it all to my MUM!

Her happiness, manifested in everything else around her..
Her joy gave meaning to all of us.
Her love kept us united through all ups and downs.
Her kindness, made us feel safe.
Her role as a disciplinarian, moulded us.
Her selflessness thought us not to be selfish with each other, be it at home, or with others.
Her sense of style thought us to want it as well, to looking good.
Her confidence in everything she did is the root to ours.
Her strength, thought us to be independent.
Her fearlessness to the world but complete fear for GOD, grounded us.
Her generosity is praised about even till today, 8 years after her passing away.
She was a GEM of a WOMAN!
Then again, Mummy never lived with her own mum to have cultivated all this, and when I look back into her difficult past of growing up, remembering the stories she had shared with us all about her life before dad, the mother that she was to us, was a decision she made to wanting to be. She chose to be HAPPY!

The "US", I am referring to fortunately isn't just confined to myself, my older siblings and my Dad, but her very close relatives, friends and even our own friends who had the chance of knowing her.

Dr Christiane also said, that when you are blessed with a happy mum, you as her child would want to emulate all that she is and be the very best in your life for your family.

Our happiness as a mum would becomes a chain blessing as we would pass it onto our kids and that by far is the greatest inheritance one could receive - The gift of Happiness!!

Jan 19, 2010

* Behind the back..

People around us, whether they love us or not are bound to talk behind our back. This is very true, but the question is, what about? The good of you or the bad or their judgement of what and who you are in their virtuous context?
No one can stop a person from talking behind their back.
We do not have that much power over life to make others shut up unless we want to jump on whatever we hear from others and be a fighter cock, which only gives others more to talk about.
Nevertheless we do have one thing in our hands.. the ability to ignore it.
Caring to much about what others have to say behind our back, is a complete waste of our time.
In fact caring to much about what anyone thinks of you is a waste of time.
You can be someone who is worthy of praises for your good deeds, but a pathological back biter will bite despite what you do, and nope you cannot change this, this sort of change has to come from within that person itself but when you do know the person you are dealing with is such a being, recommendation would be to stay away.
So stay away for the peace of mind you deserve!

Jan 16, 2010

* 2nd opinion

When it comes to health issues, the worst thing would be not knowing what the hell is going on within you and to make it even worst is when you seek the advice of a doctor who frightens you yet not do anything medically right to solve the problem.

About 2 months ago, in my 2nd month of pregnancy, I started spotting, and the spotting would get into mild bleeds where practically fresh blood would be excreated when I cough (thanks the the post nasal dripping that I have been diagnosed with!). Anyway it really panicked the hell out of me to see blood every time I visited the loo.

I consulted my gynae at a Private Medical Center here in KL one night through the A&E and after so many questions by the A&E MO, my gynae came in and did an ultrasound to check if the fetus was fine as he assumed it to be a threatened miscarriage. I refused admission for bed rest and he sent me home with a FAT bill and Progesterone Tablets (this was suppose to thicken the endometrial wall in the uterus for more blood supply and eventually stop the bleed).

The bleeding/spotting never stopped. 2 weeks later it actually got worst.
Then I had an appointment with the gynae again, to which he only did an ultrasound AGAIN!

With super speed information at the tip of your fingers thanks to the World Wide Web, I being the curious cat read through so many sites and what disappointed me was that my gynae never did a pelvic/cervical examination to confirm the site/cause of bleed and I knew it cannot be placenta praevia as it was too early a pregnancy for such a situation.

It wasn't painful what I was going through, but the anxiety of what was going on really disturbed me. I did everything I could trying to stop the bleed until I lost it and asked my husband to take me back to where I delivered my 2 other kids for a 2nd opinion.

I consulted a Professor from the gynae department who was running his private practise in this hospital and as soon as I told him what I was going through, he listed out a few possibilities and immediately carried out a pelvic examination and confirmed his guessed diagnosis, it was a CERVICAL POLYP. He removed it (and that was excruciatingly painful) and did a pap smear at the same time. The POLYP was sent for a Histopathological Examination at the Pathology Lab. I'm still waiting for the results of that and am hoping it is benign, which may be so because my Pap Smear was normal.

Then he proceeded with an ultrasound and little bum2 is fine in there... growing well and properly.

2 days after the removal of the Polyp, I have not had one spot of blood excreted till today, THANK GOD!!

I never came across any sites on the web either saying it could be a polyp, but all the sites mentioned a vaginal examination..

So to all the other pregnant women out there, do not hesitate to go for a 2nd opinion and choose your gynae wisely.

More than being free from bleeding, I thank God for guiding me to this Prof, as he has freed me from Mental Anxiety and OH YES I am sticking with this gynae till I deliver!!

Jan 15, 2010

* Feeding your child right

For all my growing up days living with my parents, I always looked forward to getting home and enjoying a fantastic home made meal that truly satisfied my appetite. Nope it wasn't extravagant dishes on a table, but simple dishes that was prepared with so much love by the woman who never grumbled when she stood alone in the kitchen cooking for all of us at home, who allowed us to eat anywhere in the house at anytime convenient to us, my Mum!

It was for her I would say that I survived most of my illnesses that I suffered with after I had to handle food myself.
Allergies ranging from my skin to my nose, migraines, headaches and tummy aches.
Not anymore, looking back, I realise it was the food that made everything stay at bay, but most of the time kept away.

Now with kids of my own, I cook more often that I did before they came into our lives.
What's most pleasing is that, my children truly enjoy the food I cook.

Variety and creativity is the key to doing this right.
I try and make it as simple as possible making sure it's packed with the nutrients they need.
I make it fun most of all and try never to bore them with rice and curry as most Indian families would do.

When it comes to vegetables, I recommend following how the Chinese cook for their style of cooking vegetables truly retains the nourishment we require from it, where else most Indian cooking destroys it all.
I often feed my kids breads and pastas that are prepared with home made (not canned) ingredients for its toppings.
A balance of seafood, poultry and vegetables are essential and yes lots and lots of fruits and fruit juices and these days I steam more than I fry, and that's a plus point to our arteries.

I try to avoid as much as I can from allowing them to eat sweets and chocolates.
The days when we do go out, my husband makes sure our meals are at proper restaurants and not fast food outlets with good kid's menu available.
All this effort to making their food right, PAYS OFF!!!

I must be honest, I don't spend a whole load of time in the kitchen as some may think. I am not bragging just because I am a stay home mum either.
The cooking and preparations uses up very little of my time, which means even as a working mum you can afford to do this. But for stay home mums, why not take more time in your child's meal, since you can, instead of neglecting it and resorting for shop food?

Jamie Oliver once asked in his show "If an Italian working mother can be back from work and cook a hearty meal for a family of 10, why can't any one else?"
He had a great point there. Why can't anyone else? Why can't we?

A small advice to some mothers I know, don't stop cooking for your kids just because they don't eat it. That's a sign to you that you either need to change your cooking style or discipline your child to eat the right food. The more you think they don't enjoy and resort to fast food, the more you are driving them to the fast track on their health issues!

Besides all that, also remember, don't force your child to eat! Some kids have a bigger appetite on some days than others. Sometimes, they are allowed to not like what you had to cook up for them, so observe their pattern. As my brother Richard would say, your kid is not going to starve himself to death, when they are hungry they will come to you looking for food. Plan their eating time right, but learn to be expandable to their moods too, but never give in to crappy food as your final resort!

In the long run, besides teaching your kids not to binge on unhealthy food and drinks and watching what your child puts into his or her mouth, a good home cooked meal can truly help your child to be a responsible eater and a healthy individual.

So start your child's day with the right breakfast followed by a balanced lunch, a healthy evening snack and a light dinner and remember a small full plate is good enough, do not overfeed them just because its a healthy home cooked meal nor force it down their throat!

Remember you are responsible as a parent to putting them on the right track.

* Rest in Peace..

Since the start of December 2008, my family and I have been dawned with calls of the passing away of close family friends and relatives and I pray to God it stops because I honestly cannot take it anymore..
3 uncles and a cousin and let there be no more!
I haven't had a peaceful night's sleep since the hearing of the tragic death of my cousin Daniel.
I know that I have not seen much of him since my mum's passing away but I have always cherished the moment of him growing up and knowing him was indeed a pleasure.. He was very sweet and charming despite the series of unfortunate events put upon him since he could remember.
To die so young and that too in a tragic motorcycle accident is devastatingly a waste to his life. No words could ever express his mother's feeling for the lost of her only hope for starting her life again.. My prayers goes out to his soul and God bless his mother with strength.
It isn't easy for me to forget his growing up, as I watched it before my eyes and had treasured it so much. If only time could be turned back... and he didn't get on that bike?
But that has never been in our hands now has it? Fate?

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