Apr 6, 2010

* Mother or Maid?

I am currently reading this book called "10 conversations you need to have with your children" and conversation one had this question that made me have my say as well. Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, the author of the book, asked the eldest daughter of a family this question, "Is that Lady your mother or your maid?" Apparently this girl had no sense of helping her mother in any of the housework at home, and lived as though she was no part of the family, and this drove the mum quite the much to insanity, having to do everything alone at home.

How often have you come across girls like this?

Personally I have seen enough myself. Daughters who think they are meant to be served and carried on the head for everything in the house. Some girls have no sense to helping their mother, and some are so grown up that their mums still serve them tea on a tray, serve food on the table and after to have to wash their dirty dishes as well, out of the many others. Nothing in the house is looked at as part of every one's responsibility.

Somehow the mother has to do everything, and if they are appreciated, it's a bonus, which often isn't the case.

Subsequently an overworked mum, will end up being a nag, and this isn't seen as a sign of change for the daughter, but taken so personally that it makes the one listening to them, oddly refuse even more to help.

On the other hand, I also know some girls, who would take annual leave from work, just to be home with their mothers to help clean the house prior to a festival or feast. Some working daughters make a point to help out on weekends, and most of the ones I know, use a little of their time everyday to just arrange things around, sit with their mums and fold clothes, or help cook together, and that also allows conversation time between mum and daughter.
The difference between these two groups of girls are quite obvious, but what could be the cause of it? The way they were brought up? The way they were taught to behave?

My hats off to these girls who know their role at home. Who take the initiative to remember that lady at home is their mother not their maid. Ask yourself, which end you belong to, and if you fall in the serving end, may be you should consider changing a little. Remember some day you will be a mother too and you wouldn't want to be the maid!

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