Aug 14, 2012

Narnia

Call me backdated.. But I've always wanted to read all 7 books of the Chronicles of Narnia and I got all 7 in 1 for RM29.90 today thanks to BookXcess! Many say you can never be too old to read them.. And after reading so much about the context of this book and hearing so much about it from my sisters in law.. I know I'm going to love it!!

Aug 6, 2012

Arthur

I must say Helen Mirren played an interesting role in this movie.. But once again this is not a movie review I'm doing but a connection to her role as Arthur's nanny.

I cried so much after she died in her sleep especially after learning that she had sacrificed her love to care for Arthur after his father died when he was only 3 and that too to a mother who's forte wasn't mothering.

Sacrifice is so rarely seen these days without expectations in return. When you are graced by someone who does it for you, you really have to embrace it.

Grief over the loss of a love one is something that can't be healed so easily. Watching her death reminded me of the loss of my mum - unfair and untimely! It's when you need the person the most, that the Universe thinks it has the right to take it away from you.. And in my case I was whirled right after loosing my mum into dealing with people who had no respect over my grievances, who thought they could comment insolent statements at me and hurt me with all their insecurities and psychotic nature!

Like I said, it's rare to find people who can respect your life the way they MUST and SHOULD! We are often surrounded by people who think they know better, and people who think they have the rights to tell you how to run your life and your home! How to raise your kids, feed them, cloth them and even meddle in the physicality of your life as to how you should spend your time.

Arthur may be fictitious.. But he surely represents many of us.. Not rich in bucks as he definitely but ridiculed by people who think they know best but sadly know nothing actually! It's the ones who truly knows you who would never hurt you!

It's those who truly know me who has not hurt me! The rest are just a humorous cruelty.. A complete waste of time!


Narcissistic Mothers!

Reading this book written by Dr. Karyl McBride, has opened an entirely new dimension of life to me. I wasn’t all that shock to know Narcissistic mothers existed but it’s sad to know that there are many mothers out there who suck at watching out for their daughters and make it all about themselves while ruining the entire existence of their child. Selfish, self absorbed women who think its an obligation that their daughters should take care of them after failing to be a positive image towards the growth of their child is apparently very classic of them.

As much as it was difficult for me to read this book in public because of its title that had nothing to do with me and my wonderful mother, I couldn’t bring myself to putting this book down because every example Dr Karyl made in her book from her own experience being a daughter to a narcissistic mother and examples from her patients, just kept catching my throat as well as my attention to go on reading - to think a woman could be such a bitch towards their own daughters!!! Sadly a narcissistic mother will never admit or acknowledge she’s one and goes on believing they’ve done their best and like no other could in their mothering as well as denies any form of hurt and trouble they have caused on their daughters. It’s always NEVER their FAULT! They would happily live blaming everyone else but themselves and making themselves be the victim is their ultimate solution to the problems they themselves caused! In fact, they are so smart and skillful at making others believe they are the ones being hurt by their daughters instead of acknowledging that whatever screw ups between them and their children is partly if not entirely their fault!

Narcissistic mothers can be destructive and cause so much chaos amongst their kids just to make sure they are the center of attention at all times. They can’t stand seeing their children united because some how they are so sick in their brain to think that when their kids get together, its about her they talk of.. but I guess to much extend it is true because such mothers have feed so much rubbish into each child about another, that they fear deeply if each of these child meet up without their presence, they would eventually learn her poisonous ruins!

Doesn’t it get exhausting for mothers of this nature to live their whole life like this?

"Emotional legacies are passed down from one generation to another” - this line got me thinking deeply and it answered a lot of my questions.. I guess it is true.. that for a girl to grow up being confident, independent and happy, she would need a mother who is of the same essence. I’m so proud and thankful to GOD for the mother he gave me! For being a woman who left her own mother’s side at the age of 10 and grew up with her aunt, my mother sure was a strong, confident, independent, intelligent and good natured woman, and I’m so glad that all her gracious and wonderful traits will be passed down to her grand daughter through me as a legacy of her strength! Young girls need strong mums to protect and guide them and to teach them to love themselves without damaging their child’s self image. Mothers who are too bothered about what others would think and what others would say.. eventually screw their daughters up and fail to enjoy their own relationship with this gift of a daughter that had been given to them.

For those who struggle with Narcissistic mothers, looks like disconnecting yourself is the only way to heal the wounds put upon you and to grow into yourself and not an extension of your own narcissistic mother!

End of the day there's no other way to look at it except - YOU PAY FOR WHAT YOU SOW!
You want your children to respect you in your old age.. you have to treat your children with respect throughout their growing years and in their adulthood..

You want your children to love you and be there to care and support you emotionally - you need to be present emotionally in theirs!  Most of all, never get your priorities wrong.. NO! you don’t need to watch over your daughter’s shoulder every second of their life and be a menace to them instead open up room for acceptance and UNCONDITIONAL and SINCERE love between each other and the rest will fall in place.
To the many mothers I know who got that right.. Well done!!




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