Jun 13, 2013

Destruction via Denial

I believe the worst attitude to have in a person is DENIAL. Can you imagine how destructive it can be to you if you are constantly pointed to what needs rectifying and you deny and carry on as if it didn't matter? It's bad for your own self, those around you and at many instances it can even crash down a system or a country if leaders lived in denial.

Bottom line, denial is a destructive attitude to own.
 It's important to know when you need to recheck your actions and work on the constructive criticisms that heads your way by putting aside EGO. It's true, it's our life, and we are the boss of it, but there are many people around us, who genuinely care for us and when something that needs repairing is told to us, we ought to ponder on it and evaluate and see if a remedial action is required rather than to dismiss it entirely and go into denial. We owe ourselves that much at least before the damage is irreversible. Don't you think?


Well the reason I've decided to write about this is because of a forum discussion that took place yesterday in a Facebook group. As much as parents feel that teachers in Malaysia, besides the Education system of course needs to be evaluated and revamped, parents too need a little self-evaluation.

No not all teachers are rotten. No not all parents are oblivious, but when a teacher tells a parent that their child needs help, it's important not to DENY it! Set your EGO aside and evaluate his/her comment and then see what should be done. I was told that when a standard 1 teacher told a mother about her child's inability to read and comprehend, she refused to accept the criticism. It resulted in the child not being able to perform even after a year. This remarks were made during the mid term report book day. Half a year's evaluation was given to the parent, and the parent dismissed it and refuse to accept the teacher's comment. Weren't the results proof enough to know her child needs help?

Parents need to know, that all kids are built differently. Not every system works for every child and we can't expect the school teacher to be working miracles on the odd ones out (no offence). That is when a parent's guidance is required. At a tender age, when we get the comment that our child needs extra attention and assistance, we can't expect and demand the teachers alone to be doing that for us, can we? We need to look into providing assistance for our kid through ourself or by getting a private tutor to work 1 to 1 with our child. It may sound like a lot to do, but consider how big a mountain it would be for expecting only the school teachers to do the job for us?

 In the long run, are we going to keep blaming the school and system?
 Time waits for no man. We can do our bit in suggesting for a change in system, but our child is not going to stop growing till the change happens. We parents all have a responsibility over our own child? We are after all the first teachers and will remain the only teacher in his or her life that should be guiding them and nurturing them, not drop the ball on school teachers and a education system alone.

This is just one case, but many I know carry denial over their kids. Kids who require extra help, kids who require extra disciplining, kids who require attention and all this by right should be handled by parents not teachers.

There are parents who have very difficult children, and instead of working on grooming them right, expect others to tolerate and some even cuts the friendship off because they feel they do not need to discipline their kids. Please bare in mind that I'm not referring to parents with special children when I say this. I have friends with special kids who in fact behave better than the normal ones no thanks to their parents who live in denial.

To me, when we live in denial, we destroy the possibility of living life right.

If the denial involves just you, then by all mean carry on, but if your denial is going to make another be at risk, then serious considering should be done.

On the same note, when parents complain about the lack of efficiency in a teacher, the teacher too should not be in denial, you are an educator and you too need to be able to set your ego aside and work on constructive criticism because you owe it to your profession and the children you took a vow to educate into educated and decent citizens by putting aside your ego and personal agendas.

Bottom line, don't live in denial only because you are too stubborn to accept criticism for someone is going to end up paying for it, someone always does!

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