Jun 13, 2013

My Child is Better Than The System!

This is another case of EGOISTIC Parenting! Almost fits to be a continuation of my previous post.
Parents who think their child is above a certain standard and refuses to accept otherwise.
Many educated parents think that because they are educated and some what a brainiac, they believe their offsprings are SUPERHEROES! Well probably The Incredibles can fit that stereotype, but come on, a system is created to evaluate a child. Of course not all child is built to be within a classification.

A friend of mind who teaches English at a language centre always shares her experiences with me, about parents who walk into her centre and expect their child to be placed into a certain high grade without even considering the evaluation results of their child.

"No no, cannot be! She's very good in her English one! She must not be put in the beginner's class. She is advance one!"  (Another denial!)

REALLY? Apparently her scores were below average on the test. But I guess, money rules these sort of parents? So the child was made to enter the higher grade class (unfortunately) and she struggled!
She struggled and her parents didn't do anything about it and subsequently the teachers were blamed for not doing a good job! So why don't the centre not accept the student if the parent fail to accept the evaluation test? Afraid these parents will talk bad about their centre and spoil the business market for them? (If it were my centre, I would not allow them to dictate me. Rather I would say, let start her off with the grade she's evaluated at, and we will see if she progresses better once she's comfortable. It should be a step by step evaluation if you asked me, but its not my centre so let's go back to the parent.)

Who are these parents rushing with?
Who are they competing with?
Is it a way to save their buck or are they that oblivious to what their child truly is?

It's like those movies where narcissistic mothers force their girls into ballet and the child suffers for not being able to do it, and all that forcing eventually creates a psychologically disturbed child who grew up thinking she's not good enough when actually her mother was the jack ass!

Then again there's another adverse effect that could happen, kids such as these will grow up always blaming the system and others when in fact the mistake is solely theirs.

Give your kids a break la!

Take them to the field and run!
Watch TV with them, read with them, dance with them and let them go through the system and observe them! Your child is not you or her brainiac father! She or he is uniquely themselves, learn to accept that.

Don't upset their internal system. Crash the program inside them and all you will get is an adult with low self esteem and low confidence and he or she will produce those kind of offsprings too because they don't know any better.

Evaluation is the key to knowing what is best for your child and to evaluate your child, you need to be actively involved in their growing and learning and not assume that they are better but take them for what they are. NEVER use your personal achievements and success as their yard stick!

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